Breastfeeding Resources

One of the things that’s taking a while to adjust to is my comfort level with pumping at work. I mean, exposing my chest isn’t something I really ever thought I’d be doing at work.

 

To ease my transition back to work, I worked half days the first two weeks—4-5 hours a day. I ended up pumping once or twice while at work these days. These days were high anxiety, with lots to coordinate at home and lots to catch up on at work. Luckily colleagues took it easy on me and didn’t start sending me problems to solve til my third week. And working only half days, usually starting around 10 am, made it easier to get through getting ready in the morning, learn how long I really needed to do everything, and try out preparations the night before.

 

While at work the first two weeks, I felt anxious a lot. But as I started to feel more comfortable with work—recalling the terminology, catching up with events that happened while I was gone, and remembering how to prioritize my work—I still felt anxious while pumping. My heart raced as I settled in to pump, and focusing on getting set up, gazing at the photo of Aaron, thinking about nursing, none of this was settling me down.

 

I finally realized at the beginning of week 3 that I was still anxious about the *fact* that I was pumping at work. I struggled with pulling myself from the regular flow of working, I was nervous about what people thought of me closing my door for ½ hour three times a day. Intellectually I had resolved what I was doing: I reserved time on my calendar so meetings wouldn’t get scheduled too tightly, I got used to nonchalantly transporting the pump parts from my office to the sink in the micro-steam bag to get cleaned. But emotionally, I was still struggling with the balance. Realizing that was the core issue has helped, and I’m able to relax a bit more. Playing music during this time is also helping, and I’m thinking about some quick physical relaxation method I can use to start off this ½ hour. I wish I could do the feet-up-the-wall yoga pose we did in prenatal yoga while pumping. :) I’m still anxious, but I think it’s starting to fade.