Something's Gotta Give

Last week, something snapped. I’m just exhausted from being constantly tied to this baby, from having to be no more than 3 hours away from baby or pump at all times. (Poor Aaron, he’s reduced to “this baby”!) I’m exhausted from all the things I’m trying to keep in my mind about what new food to feed when, whether my husband is picking him up from day care or I am, whether he’s taken good naps today or not, how to schedule pump time in around this meeting or that. And being awakened by him four times a night for the past four months. My tolerance just gave way.

I don’t know how to simplify. So many of these things are a given with having a baby. But I’m really thinking about stopping pumping. The problem is, I really want it both ways. I don’t want to have to fix him a bottle when I’m with him—nursing is really easy. But how nice would it be to not have to schedule in pumping at work, make sure pump parts are cleaned every night, all that?

We are going on vacation in two weeks. I don’t want to bring and deal with formula there. So for now I’ll keep my milk supply up. But at least, at least I’m experimenting with dropping a pumping session. I’m down to two instead of three, and so far I’m getting enough milk.

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